The times are changing, as someone said.
My husband follows a similar line.
The cycles of life keep turning,
And circles, I’ve heard, have no end.
But I can only doubt about it.
Now, my body is a bar of ice,
My old sailor is a living stone,
His feet are silent, his breath is soft.
My husband is changing, doctor.
Maybe I need one of your pills.
He’s growing tired of living with me.
I’m ill; my spirit wants to scream.
There’s emptiness, clouds of sadness.
I can’t explain this darkness, I can’t rest these days.
A sea of reptiles behind my face.
There is no chase, there is no pursuit.
My husband is changing, doctor.
My Severine was such a cheerful man.
Old evenings in a bar with a beer.
Now evenings in a hollow place.
There’s emptiness and clouds of sadness.
I can’t explain this darkness. I can’t sleep at all.
Maybe somebody did something wrong.
Tell me if he talks to you.
Tell me if the problem is me.
I loved the way the night sky filled with clouds,
The wide range of blue shades in the dark.
But I began to hate it not long ago.
When the moon was grey, and across the wind’s hiss,
With rainwater running down the streets,
I used to watch and think: “life is good and rich”.
But tonight, the spirits look for me.
Tonight my past is debris.
Oh please, they’re already here.
Tonight the spirits are free.
There’s no help I could request,
There is no arm, there is no breast.
Now I’m as alone as the last man on earth.
I’m scared of sounds, scared of anything.
The doctor gave me a pill to help me sleep,
And everywhere I go, the spirits follow me.
I feel they’re already here.
Tonight, they are hungry creeps.
Their fingers are cold and lean.
Tonight, the spirits are coming for me.
(Instrumental)
The window is not new, the gate is closed,
But it’s not strange, and everyone knows.
This path has been forgotten; no one to annoy.
My lingerie is as secret as my thoughts.
And it’s so clear: your brain’s got Earth’s figure;
Every time you open your mouth, it’s just to talk about yourself.
No license needed; any stupid man
Can explain his life to those who don’t care.
Understand me—I’m not asking the world to be shy—
But I don’t want to hear your problems in order for you to hear mine.
I hate this deal: your brain’s got Earth’s figure,
And you still open your mouth just to talk about yourself.
The confetti from the party sticks to your lips.
A few Manhattans and Negronis and you’re ready to shoot—
Then you’re under my nose, trying to make me laugh.
I won’t tell you a word about your new love.
Please, shut up: your brain’s got Earth’s figure.
I think you should stop talking about yourself.
Come on, call me unsociable, say I don’t behave—
This society prefers to nod and say yes,
Holding glasses in their hands with serious faces,
Then later, with their wives, laugh about all you said.
I hate this deal: your brain’s got Earth’s figure.
I’m afraid you might never stop talking about yourself.
Please, shut up: your brain’s got Earth’s figure—
You still open your mouth just to talk about yourself.
I ran to hold you, you ran to hold me,
There were stars in the sky.
I kissed a bright star, there, in the lowlands;
My dress was a pink roses bunch.
And the night was a quiet parade of surprises.
Your tenderness was a magic wand.
Your fingers ran slowly under my clothes;
Your lips were so sweet against mine.
Across your lapel, there was a carnation,
Steady as an entwined vine.
Shuffling your aces, you played your best game,
You burned my breast with your wine.
We danced the waltz until the night lost its frost,
And the bed cried out for us.
A silent applause, your eyes were a maze,
And the time of my life, going on.
I gave you my ring, you gave me your ring,
Our hands wrote the future that day.
I was unconquered, yet I let you win the war,
And my arms longed to unfold.
Your thrust was like honey; I beckoned you lovingly
And drew your profile and smile.
In the silk of our sheets where fresh feeling slept,
The dyke of my caress was thrown down.
We lost all our fears, our bodies so tight
I could have beaten a drum.
Even angels with bells and trumpets
Were playing forbidden songs.
When the sun washed my eyes, you were by my side.
The curtains were jealous of me.
I spoke to my God, thanking Him for His gift,
And thought I wanted to live a thousand years.
Every time that I try to forget my new life,
A glow-worm shines, injuring my eyes.
I think of what you do, and I wish you well,
But pain is a belt strangling my breath.
Your shadow, your smile, as far as the sky,
Hover over me, yet feel unreal.
This distance in time, slow as an ant,
Your figure fades… are you still the same man?
Man I loved, has it been real?
There was a time when our hopes wouldn’t wilt.
“We’ll never die,” you held my hand.
Now I see you so tired… was it something I said?
Your trouble’s not small; where trees stand tall
I saw you alone under a cloudy moon.
The night cried for you; the world lost a soul
The day you met a pain only you know.
Doubt goads my head, anguish my heart.
Wishes I had collected like stamps
Are now an innocent child’s self-lies,
My breathing feels like a burning church.
Wisdom’s rage lives in a small place
Where I go to lie down and find it.
There’s no word, there’s no hope,
Just closing my eyes to wake up.
I should say I believe, but I don’t know in what,
So I wear this raincoat night after night.
Storms will come, and I’ll miss a home
Where I could dry my clothes at the fireplace.
Replace my heart where it belongs;
It will never be again what it once was.
Stay by my side, I need respite,
My body is cold, and I have nothing.
Man I loved, has it been real?
There was a time when our hopes wouldn’t wilt.
“We’ll never die,” you held my hand—
Now I know I’ll die remembering our wedding day.
Dirt among my fingers—
It’s been hard climbing to the top.
There is a speck on your lapel,
But it doesn’t matter; no one wants you clean.
Pale moon, you were born to guide me
In my way of the cross, down on my knees.
Shipwreck, looking for your luck,
You met your sad fate. Was it a chance?
Lights shine intermittently.
I can just guess the path before my eyes.
Dry pool, you were my choice,
Now that the road is moist, I look for you.
Bugs, snakes, and green flies,
Hidden in silence, will watch my show go on.
Come on, just one step up.
The abyss is in love, in love with your last breath.
Forest, cold and hostile,
You’ll be my final bed; deep in your thickness, I will rest.
Wind blows hard in my face.
I will escape from any place. I died long ago.
Angels, angels from hell—
Stones, join me in my first and final flight.
Air, don’t stop me;
Utilities of life, finally put to use.
Bells ring; there is a great storm.
Luckily, my eyes won’t see my smile.
Sirens, there in the morning,
But no need to race: there’s just a corpse.
My spirit heads away, laughing at tears. The curtain falls.
Rain is pouring down
In this empty, empty alley.
How could I find the words
To be understood, to be understood?
There’s no light to see beauty in this life.
Now my cosy room is a desert zone.
No, nobody is lonelier than me,
Nobody is lonelier than me, nobody is lonelier than me.
No, nobody is lonelier than me.
Old papers in the sea, a cold howling wind.
Nobody is lonelier than me.
In my fight against fate, I’ll wear an evening gown.
In my fight against fate, I’ll wear an evening gown.
Shut up and dream, trying not to think.
Nobody is lonelier than me,
Nobody is lonelier than me, nobody is lonelier than me.
Parading before my eyes,
All those good moments already gone.
Dream after dream after dream,
His face and also his voice.
The fight against life,
Wearing an evening gown.
Shut up and dream, stand up and think.
Nobody is lonelier than me,
Nobody is lonelier than me, nobody is lonelier than me.
(Instrumental)
I’ve been thinking lately about you,
Wondering if you still dyed your braid.
It was so riveting to caress your cheeks.
Your unconscious smile, bittersweet,
Your eyes washed by the candle,
Your pain, dark and silent.
And I know for sure I was the only one
Who combed your hair after all,
And the next in line must have been a beast:
I heard your screams from the other room.
I remember your eyes were sad
As you faked pleasure over pain.
Sometimes I opened the window,
But Bobby’s voice shouted:
“Take care, stupid: someone will discover us!
Fuck her fast and come out!”
It wasn’t a bond, but I was with those boys,
Just a soldier in a battalion.
Your kiss was the first, on the third day of May;
I’ve never been able to forget that date.
Today my hair is grey,
But I still look much the same,
And I wonder how your life is going.
I heard you left town.
If I knew your address,
I’d send you flowers and a check.
Though my guilt won’t wash away
With bill’s green or roses’ red.
The wind blew against my way.
I saw your face the other day.
It was in a newspaper I read,
It was on the crime news page.
There was your unmistakable smile,
There was your name beneath it.
And I cried to read
that a woman with a mental deficiency
Had killed a man.
And I also recognized Bobby’s old face.
So I knew of your disgrace.
Since then, I’m not the same.
My wife can’t understand it.
She’s a very good woman,
But I’ve never been true to her.
I watch the days slip away,
And I think obsessively about you.
Evenings fall, but you won’t disappear.
In this state, there’s the death penalty.
I would shout, but I can’t,
I’d just rescue you from
Those unfair jail walls.
We will meet one day, somewhere,
After your judgment and my death.
I hope this note helps you somehow,
And I’ll comb your hair again.
I will carefully caress your cheeks,
Softly, this time, kissing your lips.
And I hope whatever god there is
will forgive our sins.